When you depend too much on certainty in your life, you can cause a direct conflict with your other Human Needs. Deciding what your level of certainty is and how that manifests itself in your life is ultimately your own decision. You may feel the most certainty by having the same job, working for the same company and having plenty of insurance for your family or you may not be able to feel certain unless you earn a certain dollar figure every year.
The key words for certainty are: Comfort, security, safety, stability, feeling grounded, predictability and protection.
The problem with these areas occurs when you move out of balance with your other human needs and either focus solely on that certainty or you get into conflict with one or more of your other human needs.
An example of Certainty gone awry could be this:
A mother knows that she is the comforter, teacher, care giver, and protector of her children. Time goes by and this mother surrounds her life with the one and only task at hand. She is the mother and that is her identity. Doing her job well by being the one person that her children can count on has been her mission for twenty years. As children do….they grew up. The children went away to lead their new and exciting lives that she spent all of those years preparing them for. They are excited but somehow she is not.
She neglected all of her needs for so long that she has no idea who the person is that is standing before her in the mirror. Not only does she not know this but she doesn’t have any clue what to do with the rest of her life. She never thought about this day before. What did she do? She neglected most of her other needs in the name of sacrificing for her children. She forgot about who she was/is and what her needs ever were in the first place. This happens my friends more than people want to admit.
She can recover and start her life anew. All she needs is to look at her own human needs again, get back in touch with the woman she once was, and get back on the bus! Life is not over when the children grow up and leave home. A new life is just beginning with an amazing adventure ahead.
If you are stuck in this place at this time…get unstuck! Realize that you are the most important person in your life and that taking time to take care of you is more valuable to those little people than your sacrifice.
DARE TO DANCE!